My labored breathing struggles to find a rhythm as I toss and turn in my bed. Comfort twists through my shoulders as I find a restful position on my back, the most difficult position for me to breathe. A cold thought wriggles into my warm sheets: what if I close my eyes, and they never … Continue reading Akira Toriyama, Death, and Memory
reflections
Asphyxia
Some readers may have noticed that I didn’t share a post last week. I’m on the upswing now I think, but I was pretty depressed last week due to a confluence of reasons, not the least of which is my current struggle with sleep apnea (I think. I haven’t officially been diagnosed yet, but the … Continue reading Asphyxia
Looking Backwards, Looking Forwards
This will likely be the last post I make in 2023. The end of the year is often a time for reflection on goals accomplished and future plans, and given how the last few years have gone, I feel like it’s important for me to remind myself of my trajectory in life. This year felt … Continue reading Looking Backwards, Looking Forwards
Katagelophobia, and Fears of Being Seen
As I crawl out of bed at four in the morning for my five a.m. shift, I can't help but feel a weight in my heart. I’ve known what I wanted to be for a long time, but I've never had the courage to pursue it. I didn't dream about managing people at a clothing … Continue reading Katagelophobia, and Fears of Being Seen
Mono no aware
As I write this, I'm sitting in a crowded cafe at Haneda airport. The bustling terminal is filled with international travelers, some coming home, some only just arriving in Japan. My partner and I have spent the last two weeks traveling up Japan from Osaka to Tokyo with a group of my friends from high … Continue reading Mono no aware
Faraway Fireworks
My partner leads me to the scenic spot near our apartment to watch the fireworks celebration across the city. In the distance there are explosions of color, punctuated by soft delayed bangs. It’s too far for us to see them clearly, but the spectacle is captivating all the same. Palm trees of light and cinder … Continue reading Faraway Fireworks
Where Transition Meets Tradition
It's happened to me a few times now: a friend or colleague will make a post online about recovering from a procedure, or take an extended leave of absence from work, and a mutual friend or acquaintance will ask me whether I know if they are having gender-affirming surgery. In a world where the idea … Continue reading Where Transition Meets Tradition
Sam Wolfe is alive 