This will likely be the last post I make in 2023. The end of the year is often a time for reflection on goals accomplished and future plans, and given how the last few years have gone, I feel like it’s important for me to remind myself of my trajectory in life. 

This year felt like hitting a big reset switch for me. Between moving and finding work, it feels like my partner and I had to find our footing again. This was our third move in three years, and the instability has led to some troubling response behaviors in the apartment. We avoid using the heat, and half unpacked boxes glare from the corner of each room. We’ve been reluctant to fully move in. Rooms have found their definition through what essentials we’ve set up. It’s not uncomfortable, but so much change in such a short time has made us anxious about the inevitability of having to pack everything up again. This will probably be the first place we stay for longer than 1 year in, but that doesn’t feel like a milestone. What’s nice about our apartment is how affordable it is. With me finding employment in September, this officially became a place that costs less than what we bring in together. It will feel nice to build up some savings over the next year. Whatever comes, as long as finding a job I’m more passionate about takes, at least we’re building at this point. I do get a lot of comfort from knowing we’ll be able to do this as long as we keep working. I don’t feel the anxiety from wondering where I’m going to live that I felt last year anymore. 2023 feels like I worked most on my foundation, and I’m content with how it’s paid off so far.

I’m also really happy with how I’ve made regular blog posting a part of my life. This space has been critical for me in being comfortable with having an online presence. I’m still haunted by the anxiety regularly posting on Twitter and YouTube gave me five years ago, but posting a reflection on this site once a week has driven me to both write and read more and use my time more wisely. I’ll admit that sometimes writing for the blog has tired me out before moving to more long-term projects, maybe attributing to the glacial pace I’ve moved forward on those, but I’m still really proud to be able to say that I’ve posted regularly for the past 18 weeks, and I don’t plan on bucking the trend any time soon. Brainstorming features to run here is a high priority for me, but I appreciate the flexibility to write about whatever I want; that’s really helped me become more comfortable with the idea of other people reading my words, or that they might live on online after they’ve exited my mind.

Regrettably, focusing on my foundation kind of led me to neglect some of my passions. I haven’t made much progress on my long term video project since moving into the new place. Talking to a friend who is continuing their education helped me find some motivation in the twilight of this year, however, so I’m optimistic that if I steer for it, I can make personal development through video projects a more regular part of my week in 2024. I went into 2023 hoping for it to be the year I broke out of my shell, but it turned out to be more of a year about building a nest. Now that I’m nested, I hope I can make 2024 that year. I’m already really satisfied with the discipline I’ve instilled in myself by remembering to post on this blog. It’s even made me want to upgrade the site a little… but I should finish what I’ve started first. I’d love for 2024 to be the year I started regularly posting to YouTube, or at least using the streaming equipment I’ve bought. Work has been a barrier to that lately, but if I can find a position that pays as well with more flexible hours, I would look forward to having some weekly output besides the blog. I’m excited to say I’m already steering towards that with the voice recording classes I’ve signed up for in the evenings for the first part of this year. I’m hoping I can learn a thing or two about recording techniques so I can sound more professional in my own environment. Apartments with walls as thin as mine might not be the ideal place to try recording something, but I won’t let that be an excuse, it’s just another reminder that maybe we haven’t landed at our final destination yet.

Not to lose sight of it, but outside of the realm of creative projects, I’m also hoping to earn some credentials in my field by attempting the N4 test this year. I was supposed to take the JLPT N5 test this December, but had to skip the test due to a bout with covid. Having that credential will be proof of my language abilities, and will open up more opportunities for me with Japanese companies. It’s a long-term goal, but it’s also easy to put off, so I really don’t want to lose track of it. Frankly I think just having the N4 or N3 credential will be an impressive boost on my resume. Hopefully recruiters feel the same way.

2023 wasn’t what I expected, but I feel like I was able to use the year constructively. Going into 2024 I’m feeling motivated and driven to manifest some of my dreams; I want to post online regularly, I want to create a voice acting demo reel, and I want to pass, or at least start making progress on passing the N4 test. Somehow it still feels like I’m trying to catch-up to my peers, but at least it feels like I’m on the right track. I hope with this attitude I’ll be able to carve out a comfortable corner of the world for myself and my partner.